What About My Mind? How I Came to Meditation, and Why It Might Be the Most Important Practice You Ever Learn
This is the story of how I came to meditation, and a soft invitation to start your own practice.
I've always been invested in keeping a healthy body. Maybe too obsessively at times.
When I was old enough to drive to the gym, I went most days of the week. I ran a marathon before I had my kids, which meant training non-stop for months and months. Every day. Rain, shine, or hail.
When I had my kids, I realised the only time I could exercise without interruption was 5am. So I built a routine that still lives today. Up at 5, sometimes even earlier, to train, run, move.
Now, to meditate.
One day, I don't quite remember what brought it on, I had this thought:
What about my mind?
I'd spent all this energy, effort, time, focus on training my body. But isn't the mind the one that matters most? Aren't we living in a world where if we don't train our minds, we are making ourselves terribly vulnerable? To illness. To burnout. Or worst of all, to becoming dull, society-following versions of ourselves.
That thought worried me and motivated me at once.
That is how I got into meditation. Not as a spiritual path. Not as "coming back to myself." Just this: I wanted to exercise for my mental health. (Plot twist: all of that comes through the journey.)
Because we are a holistic being made of mind, body, and heart (soul, emotions, whatever you want to call it).
And through practising, I didn't just build mental fitness. My overall health and wellbeing got fitter too. Because they were never separate.
What meditation actually is (and what isn’t)
Here's the thing. Most people misunderstand what meditation is. They think meditation is sitting still and emptying your mind. Maybe even feeling blissful while you do it.
It is not.
Meditation is the practice of training your mind to notice what you are thinking and feeling, without being run by those thoughts and feelings. At a plain level, it is mental exercise. In the same way that running is physical exercise.
And when you meditate, what you are actually doing is allowing time to meet yourself, and whatever is arising for you, gently. Without trying to fix anything. You are turning toward your thoughts and feelings with curiosity instead of judgement. You are noticing what is there and allowing it, with self-compassion, without trying to change it.
That last part is the radical bit. Because in everyday life, we are always doing something to fix something. We notice an uncomfortable feeling and we want it gone. We notice a difficult thought and we want to argue with it. Meditation is the opposite. You see what is happening in your inner landscape, and you simply allow it. With curiosity. With kindness.
It is about being, in a culture that only knows how to doing. And it is the beginning of knowing your own inner landscape.
There is nothing to achieve here. Nothing to get right. Nothing to perform. Which means there is no failing at it either. Some days you will sit and your mind will be everywhere. That is not a bad meditation. That is just a meditation where you got a lot of practice noticing.
The three qualities that anchor the practice are:
Non-judgement. You watch what arises without labelling it good or bad. The thought is not the problem. The fight with the thought is the problem.
Kindness toward yourself. You meet whatever shows up the way you would meet a small child or a dear friend. With softness. Without rush. Without the harshness we usually save just for ourselves.
Curiosity. You become interested in your own inner world. Oh, anxiety is here today. Oh, that's a familiar story. Oh, this is what tiredness feels like in my shoulders. The curiosity is what creates space.
These three qualities are the practice. The breath, the sitting, the timer, all of those are just scaffolding. The real meditation is what you bring to the moment.
How to start meditating (a gentle beginner's guide)
If you have never meditated before, this is what I want you to know first.
You are not doing it wrong. You will not do it wrong. The only way to "fail" at meditation is to not try.
Here is the simplest way to begin. Three steps. That is all.
1. Sit.
Find a quiet spot. Sit in a chair, on a cushion, on the floor, wherever is comfortable. You do not need a meditation pillow or a special outfit. You need a body and a few minutes.
2. Breathe.
Close your eyes (or soften your gaze). Take three slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then let your breathing return to normal.
3. Notice.
Bring your attention to the sensation of breathing. This is your anchor point. The air moving in. The air moving out. When your mind wanders (and it will, often), gently guide your attention back to the anchor. Gently is the keyword. That noticing-and-coming-back -gently- is the practice. It is the rep. Every time you return, you are training the mind. Every single time.
Start with five minutes a day. Yes, just five.
Most people overestimate how much time they need and then never start. A daily five-minute meditation will change your life faster than a once-a-month thirty-minute session. Consistency beats intensity.
And on the days you don't want to do it? Especially on those days. Just sit for one minute. One. The win is the showing up, not the duration.
Why this matters more than ever
We live in a world that is always trying to get our attention. Notifications. News cycles. Comparisons. Endless content. Our minds were not designed for this volume of input, and yet here we are, processing it every day.
Without a practice of returning to ourselves, we lose touch with what we actually think, feel, want, and need. We become carried by every wave that arrives.
This is why meditation matters. Not as a wellness add-on. As a way of reclaiming your own inner life.
It matters especially if you feel stretched thin, if you are caring for everyone, if you feel pulled in many directions at once. Take, for example, people in what is now being called the sandwich generation. Caring for ageing parents on one side, raising kids on the other, and somewhere in the middle, themselves. For this generation, meditation is not a luxury. It is a survival skill.
But here is the thing nobody tells them, and this is true for anyone whose life feels too full for "one more thing." Meditation does not have to be one more thing on the pile. The work I teach is integrated. Micro-doses. Practices that happen between the school run and the doctor's appointment. While the kettle boils. While you sit in the car park before going inside.
This is the kind of meditation that fits real life. The meditation that meets you in the chaos and helps you stay grounded inside it.
What changes when you practise
I have been formally meditating for around seven years now. And what I have noticed in myself, and in the people I work with, is this.
You stop reacting and start choosing. The traffic still happens, but you do not get hijacked by it. Someone says something unkind and you feel it, but you do not absorb it whole. The hard day still arrives, but you have a quiet centre that holds.
You sleep better. Your body relaxes. The 3am rumination starts to soften. You eat with a little more presence. You stop overcommitting. You stop saying yes when you mean no, not because you've forced yourself to be different, but because you can actually hear yourself now.
And underneath all of it, a quiet inner steadiness builds because you got more grounded inside it.
It is, honestly, the most generous thing I have ever done for myself. And for the people I love.
A soft invitation
There is no use in getting older with a fit body if your mind is not healthy. And if there is one proven way of training the mind, refined over millennia, it is meditation.
If something in this is calling you, and you want to learn how to meditate with someone who will walk alongside you, I am creating something special for beginners. A simple, structured pathway to start the practice, with the support and guidance to actually stick with it.
No rush. No pressure. Just an invitation.
Frequently asked questions about meditation
What is meditation?
Meditation is the formal practice of guiding your attention back to an anchor point, with kindness and curiosity, without judgement. It is mental and emotional training. The same way running trains the body, meditation trains the mind, gently, over time.
How do you start meditating as a beginner?
Sit comfortably. Take three slow breaths. Bring your attention to the sensation of breathing. When your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back. That is the whole practice. Start with five minutes a day and let it grow from there.
Is meditation the same as mindfulness?
They are related but not identical. Meditation is the formal practice, usually done sitting, with your eyes closed or your gaze softened. Mindfulness is the broader skill of present-moment awareness, which you can carry into anything you do. Meditation builds the mindfulness muscle.
How long should a beginner meditate for?
Five minutes a day is more than enough to start. Consistency matters far more than length. A daily five-minute practice will outperform a once-a-week thirty-minute session, every single time.
Can meditation actually improve mental health?
Yes. Decades of research show that a consistent meditation practice can reduce stress, anxiety, and rumination, while improving sleep, focus, emotional regulation, and overall sense of wellbeing. Most people start noticing shifts within a few weeks of daily practice.
Do I need to be spiritual to meditate?
Not at all. Meditation is a practice. You can approach it from a spiritual perspective if that resonates with you, or you can approach it purely as a mental health practice. I started for my mental health. The deeper experience came later, on its own, without me chasing it.
What if I cannot stop my thoughts?
You are not meant to. Stopping thoughts is not the goal, and chasing that goal is what makes most people quit. The goal is to notice thoughts and gently return your attention to your point of focus. The noticing-and-returning is the practice, while inviting kindness, non-judgement, and curiosity. The wandering is not failure. It is the gym equipment.
What if I don't think I'm doing it right?
You probably are. The mind worrying about whether you are doing it right is just another thought. Notice it, smile at it gently, come back to the breath. There is no right and wrong here. There is only practice.
I’m Carolina Gonzalez, an Advanced Certified Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher based in Sydney, Australia. I have been formally practising meditation for around seven years. I teach people how to train their minds through evidence-based mindfulness practices. I created the Midlife Reclaim and From Reactive to Calm and Regulated programs to help women find clarity, feel grounded, and improve their relationships with their loved ones. My work has appeared in Tiny Buddha, Wellbeing Magazine, and Spirituality & Health. 🩵
If you want to learn more about working with me, you can find me [here].